I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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