I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
What a dumb baby whore.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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