Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
