Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
