we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The adults are the big ones right?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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