What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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