did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
