smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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