do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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