Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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