AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
