i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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