I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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