Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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