He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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