You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
