just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You are a genius and a whore.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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