How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
