someone get that fucking seahorse.
Ketchup is God's man juice
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
