I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
