he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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