Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
