So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
