We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
