she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
being pregnant is like rehab
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
