Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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