Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
jump out the window naked night went bad
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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