i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
