He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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