spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
