You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
