he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
