As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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