Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
