this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
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