So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
