Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
