You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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