Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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