i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
