Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
