i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
