I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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