I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
