If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
