how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
