I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
