That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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