Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Never joke about your clitoris.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
