Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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