Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
All I want is dick and wine.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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