I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
